3 Martinis and a Snuggle Session

welcome.  

the thoughts and conversations held by people under the influence never cease to surprise me.  and lets be honest, these conversations usually include me.  

martini mondays at cafe felix is my new favorite drunken experience.  half off martinis while sitting along main street watching all the other drunk assholes try to get to their next location makes me a happy gal.  last night, much like every other night, the conversation quickly led to a discussion around what is lesbian sex.  how do they do it?  is there a top and a bottom?  how does one initiate it?  does using a strap-on count as intercourse?  

lets start with the basics.  sex, like most any other word, is strongly based on self-definition.  i could say that sex is only intercourse, while someone else could say sex is any messing around 'down there' and someone else could say that its any type of penetration.  to me, oral is always sex.  its something very intimate and something that i personally won't do to just anyone.  outside of that, it depends upon the intimacy level.  if a girl sticks her hand up my skirt at the bar and slips a finger in, i don't consider that sex.  however, if i'm in a girls bed and after some hot'n'heavy foreplay she sticks em in, that is most likely sex to me.  

moving on to 'how do they do it'.  like i said before, there are many different forms of lesbian 'sex'.  like all other women, there are three different areas to be discussed.  let's start from behind.  anal sex is something that i personally am not into, but i know a lot of women who get great pleasure from it.  however, due to my lack of experience, lets move on to the vagina. penetration can be done with fingers, strap-ons, and some people even say with the tongue.  the best thing about using your hands is that you can do each other simultaneously while still making out or doing whatever you were doing with your mouth.  strap-ons are also much fun, but due to it being... detached.. sometimes the process of using one can be slightly awkward or embarrassing.  but when you are comfortable with your partner, it can be a very rewarding experience.  strap-ons are basically just dildos on a harness.  they come in all shapes and colors, and they even make harnesses to strap onto thighs these days.  forward even more, lets discuss the clit.  clitoral stimulation is the only way over 50% of women can get an orgasm.  this can be done with a vibrator, with fingers, with a tongue, or with the ever-so-famous 'scissoring' method.  which, i just found out yesterday, lesbians actually do.  to me, it is kind of the female version of docking.  it might be enjoyable, but i could never do it without giggling.  maybe we'll come back to this stuff later, but let's continue on with the other questions.  

is there a top and a bottom?  yes, there can be.  this can often be taken very literally to mean who is on top of the other person and who is on the bottom, or it could mean who likes to pleasure and who likes to be pleasured.  some people use this terminology to mean who gives penetration and who takes it, especially in dichotomous butch/femme relationships.  

as far as how to initiate girl on girl sex, it is pretty much the same as any other type of sex.  my trick is, if i see a woman who i want to hook up with, go up to her and mid-conversation begin rubbing the small of her back.  just lightly, keeping the hand still and just moving the fingers right above her pants.  for some reason, this always seems to work.  after that, there is generally kissing, touching, and undressing.  but thats pretty generic, from what i understand. 

lastly, i want to address the issue of intercourse.  does having strap-on penetration count?  if i've had sex with a trans man who used a strap-on, did i lose my gold star?  i'd like to say no, because i LOVE my gold star.  however, that right there is me discriminating.  in the end, though, no sexually transmitted infections can be transmitted from silicone to vagina.  so yes, i have hooked up with men, but i'd like to believe that my gold star is still in tact and that strap-on penetration is not intercourse  (at least via red cross definition).   

so, this was the bulk of last nights conversation at martini mondays.  after a quick stop at a peter pan party, i headed to ypsi for a late night snuggle session while we discussed what it means to have been in love.  but hai, thats a conversation for a whole different post.