Cherry Popov, Miller Lite, and seven horny dykes

why is it that gay women and gay men are not supposed to be friends?  every time i go out with a group of my gay men friends, i get asked if i am a fag hag (or my new favorite term for it, fruit fly).  we are all a part of one community, arguably, so why can we not be part of one social circle?  

i, of course, get sick of men.  but so many of my best friends are gay men.  we have a lot in common and its much easier to wingman this way.  when two single women go out to the bar or club, wingmanning for each other can get complicated.  however, when i'm out with my boys, there is no complication.  we work together to make sure that neither of us goes home alone, or at least without a little messing around.  

i think that a lot of lesbians are bitter toward men.  not because they want to be men, but because men have the luxury of living in a very male-centric nation.  as lesbians, feminism is also an easy identity to fall into.  and however great feminism is, it really brings to light the things in this country that oppress us.  with this fact in the front of our minds, it is easy to subconsciously be bitter toward men.  we must realize though, that this country that focuses so much on masculinity is also discriminating against gay men.  they take a blunt of the oppression almost as much as we as women do.  lack of masculinity in a man, aka not yelling when the packers score, not getting bored during musicals, and not wearing jeans below the ass, is so unacceptable by today's societal standards that gay men face nearly as much oppression as us lesbian women. 

so maybe this bitterness is all in my head.  maybe there are other reasons for our gender-binary esque separation in gay social circles.  however, i can't imagine my life without my male friends.  i can't imagine going out and not wanting them there.  i would encourage any lesbian to find herself some gay men.  they are a blast.  

as i make this plug to the women, i must also ask something of the men.  when you see a chick who is with gay men and is dressed slightly femme, do not assume she is a fruit fly.  its offensive, rude, and oftentimes very untrue!  thanks =]